Spirituality and BDSM

BDSM can be used to make the ego small and humble


In the past 30 years I have encountered many spiritual people, who struggled a lot with their SM fantasies. Many spiritual people are more than average interested in BDSM. Spiritual people want to serve and want to make their ego smaller. Being chained, being humiliated, having to obey leads to a reduction of the ego.

  • In the book 'The Fire from Within' by Carlos Castaneda, Don Juan (the initiator of Castaneda) talks about a 'petty tyrant', who suppresses and shatters your ego. Don Juan advises Castaneda to search for such a 'petty tyrant' and to be suppressed in order to overcome the ego.

  • In the army, the drill sergeant is such a small tyrant. His job is to first break a recruit and then rebuild him/her. Extreme assignments, exhaustion, submissiveness, blind obedience: the army looks like a BDSM club. But it works. Special Forces receive an even more extreme training and learn to handle everything. A 'Special Forces training' is also something for spiritual people.

  • In India there are spiritual groups around the goddess Kali and the god Shiva, for the destruction of the ego. Shiva is the destroyer of the ego and the liberator of the self.


Many spiritual women want to become a priestess of a god or goddess.



Some of these people are very dominant. In fact, they just want power. They want to tell others what to do. They actually want to be a mistress. But they don't want to be held accountable. So they create a deity, which functions like a scape-goat. It is not the mistress that gives the orders, but the god or goddess.

  • An unconscious desire for power is a major obstacle in your spiritual development. It is better to make this desire conscious. If you want to dominate or if you want to be worshipped as a goddess, accept that from yourself. And let yourself be adored. Make your desires conscious and learn to deal with them. Suppressing these desires is very harmful to yourself and to the people you come in contact with. Learn to live with yourself.

  • If you have learned to control your lust for power, you can really lead people. In addition, you can act as a dominant mistress. As an archetypal primal mother or as a goddess of love, you can lead and re-educate submissive people spiritually. If you play with BDSM attributes such as a whip, shackles, dildos, etc., there is no objection to that in itself.

  • If you suppress your desire for power, it will lead an unconscious life. Then it comes out in a harmful way. Then you can damage people because you have no control over your lust for power. I have seen many examples of this over the years. Some spiritual people really become very destructive by suppressing the lust for power.


  • Some of these women are very submissive. They want to submit completely to their god or goddess. Some women participate in Satanism, offering their bodies to an earthly god. They allow themselves to be used sexually by the male supporters.

    • Satanism is often negative. Supporters will contradict this. Satan was a part of the Elohim in the Jewish faith (BEN E ALHIM (Son of God), according to the book of Job). He was actually a kind of prosecutor. In Christianity, Satan has received a negative charge as an opponent. Within Christian culture, Satan is the one who opposes the Creator. Satan is the one leading the opposition.

  • If you want to live out your submissive and masochistic desires in a spiritual way, you don't have to go to Satanism.

    • In many ancient cultures (Persians, Greeks, Germans) they had temple whores. These whores were highly honored. You can offer yourself as a priestess of Cybele, Aphrodite, Venus or Freya and offer sexual services on their behalf.

    • You can see every man as a god and every woman as a goddess. You can worship and serve a man as a god. Or you can worship and serve a woman as a goddess. Sexually too.

    • The desire to serve as a whore is simply a sexual variation. Most people do not (apparently) have this desire. For other people, this desire is very strong. Just like with other sexual variations. Some people are gay, most people are not. Some people want to serve as a whore, most people don't.


Many submissive women have or had a strict father and / or mother.

The god or goddess that one adores has many characteristics of the father or mother.
  • By playing this out in a role play, you can transform your relationship with your father / mother.


In other cases, the father or mother has given too little attention. They want to worship a god or goddess and be his / her favorite (sweet daughter).
  • "Look daddy / mama, I am a good girl. And if I have been naughty, I offer my buttocks for punishment. Then I kiss your hand to thank you for your educational punishment."


Some women want to express themselves sexually,
but are stopped by inhibitions made by the parents / educators.
  • Women with a strong stomach chakra break through it themselves. But those are the dominas.

  • Women with a weak stomach chakra need help. Example:

    • Mary wants to be sexually free, but cannot. She gives herself to John, a strict master. (Or to a strict mistress.) John conditions her and teaches her with much training to blindly obey. In addition, there are increasingly difficult assignments. In short skirt without panties on the street. Later in a short skirt without panties on a visit to the parents. Over the knee in public and get a few taps on the bare buttocks. Strip at a BDSM party. Or even ring at the door of another master (mistress, couple), undress and submit to a him (her, them).

    • Extreme? Yes. Liberating? Yes. Dangerous? Not if you do this with reliable people and use condoms.


Is this still spiritual?

Is this not terribly low, vulgar, decadent?


What is your own answer to these questions?

  • Spirituality and denying your own body do not go together. If your own body demands release and tension, then it is wrong to suppress this. If you suppress this, you don't do it for god, but for your parents or for the priests of a church. Suppressing yourself for someone else is harmful to your spiritual development.


Many spiritual men want to become a priest of a god or goddess.



Some of these men are very dominant. In fact, they just want power. They want to tell others what to do. They actually want to be a master. But they don't want to be held accountable. So they create a deity, which functions like a scape-goat. It is not the master that gives the orders, but the god or goddess.

  • Men like this often start their own religious group, with strict rules and commandments. The man is the guru or enlightened master, who knows everything and whose word is law. The followers are actually slaves, who must obey absolutely.

  • When I came in the media in 1988 under the name Icewolf, a large number of men and women immediately came to me who wanted to worship me as a guru. They wanted to be my slaves. They wanted to do everything. In particular, they wanted orders and assignments. They wanted to burden me with their responsibility. At the time I thanked you for that, because I didn't want to be such a master. Apart from that, I was then too young for so much responsibility (26 years). If I had not thought it through, I would probably have succumbed to the lust for power. I can now handle this responsibility because I am more aware of the dangers. It is not wrong to lead people and temporarily take over some of the responsibilities of weak people. It is wrong if you do this unconsciously and instinctively. Then the lust for power overcomes you and you start to degenerate. Then you end up as a slave to your slaves. If you are aware of the dangers, you can train weak people and help them develop their will. That is a heavy responsibility and it takes a lot of energy.


Some of these men are very submissive.

They want to submit completely to their god or goddess. A god or guru is actually a reflection of the father. They want the love of the father and demand it of the guru. A goddess or mistress is a reflection of the mother. They want the love of the mother and demand it of the mistress.


  • As a master you can use this dependence to help the followers grow. Many followers want to do everything for the master (or mistress) and they focus a lot of energy to the master. You can focus this energy on activities that help the followers to develop.

  • Many men are extremely selfish, much more selfish than women.

    • We also see this with chimpanzees. Women mainly use their influence to help their friends and children move forward. Men mainly use their influence to favor themselves. We can assume that this is genetic in both humans and chimpanzees.

  • Men can learn to overcome their selfishness by learning to serve. Genetically men are programmed to pursue their own interests. If they only pass on their genes, they have fulfilled their function. That may have been true in our early evolutionary past, but it is no longer the case for humans.

    • Genetically successful men come quickly. If fertilization takes too long, something soon comes up. After the ejaculation, it is time to look at the next woman. The more semen they provide, the greater the genetic success.

    • A strict mistress or goddess can condition the man to worship and serve her. She can teach him to postpone his ejaculation. By playing the boss, she can help him to overcome his genetic programming.


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